Poem · Write

I Am A Tough Girl

I don’t feel that the world is abandoning me, no, not a little
I’m following Your path You drew on
Changing my priority easily
Doing things I never done before, easily
If I want, I can blame everything, everyone in this world
But this is weird, with my characteristic, I didn’t do that…
I didn’t go down nor cry or angry
Being me is just so tough…

In this state I’m really missing everyone who I call FRIEND
I wish I could divide myself
I can’t think all problems in one head
But I’ll not believe the others me
There’s reason behind a sentence to you: “I miss you, friends”
I’m not a kind of person who’ll send you that sentence, but now I’m doing that.

~Tough girl~

Poem · Write

Just Someone

Just someone,
Someone who walked slower than somebody else, quietly
Someone who feels dissapointed with the whole world
He gets rid of his real world for a while
Just want to take a rest for a while
He can blabbering, badmouthing, and make noise in the virtual world he love
But not from his own mouth

Just someone
Who has many dreams which he never know how to start
Getting mad of many things didn’t suit
He also didn’t understand which one is right:
Does the world betray him, or does he the one who abandon the world?

Just someone.

Poem · Write

How are You the World?

I am here don’t know whether I’m fine or not, seeing you have many wounds everywhere
It’s funny that I am the ignorant person wanna be a hero for you
Breaking all the rules and becoming a different person just to heal you
But I myself have many wounds here, that’s so ridiculous…
How can I help you, then?

How are you the world?
I hope you heal your wound quickly
Take my hand because the one who understand better is someone who have the same moment, the same problem, isn’t it?
Just sing with me happily, yeah, although I just know Korean song without the meaning, haha…but yeah…
When someone asking you, when and what will you be…
Just answer it quickly,
“Who the hell know?”

Poem · Write

I Was There, but Still Not Here

Here I am with my long hair, without a bang, I planned to cut

With my usual clothes, my favorite one

Also my old sneakers, I planned to buy the new one before

 

Sadly I didn’t belong to wherever place I go

Not there or here

 

Just wait slowly…which part of me will die first

Is it my body or soul…

 

 

Poem · Write

Dream

Honestly, i am too tired
It’s just too tired caring other people
Wearing a mask to facing them
Forcing a smile and always ask, “What can I do for you?”
Nobody knows that in my heart I wanna shout, I’m not okay

While I can see this picture lively everyday, yeah it’s like a drug that have an interaction time
It easy comes and goes…

I hide it everyday and become someone I never know
I see in the mirror and I can’t remember the last time I smile

I walk on my way then I feel so lonely
I want you to come to me and hug me
Say to me that everything gonna be okay
The better day will come to me

Thirteen people in my head
Come to me and smile
And then say congratulation,
Yeah, my dream.

(22/04/2014)

Poem · Write

Tears

Today, this morning, my tears just came out so freely without a reason
Then i wondering how come this happen
and i smiled, this life is so hard, isn’t it?
Maybe my whole body is numb…my head can’t control anything would happen
and the tear just flew freely, this morning.
To say that I’m sad it so boring.
To say that I’m happy it is so big lie.
To say that I’m okay it is so wrong.
Every way when I go further, I realize that I’m against the fog
And I realize too, that God is testing me
He asked me to learn the bad one first instead of the good one
So, in the future I won’t do the same thing.
Yeah, I let my tears flew freely, so I’ll free too, someday.
(14th April 2014)

Poem · Write

Asking for A Help

Asking for a help isn’t always have a sound
A deep heart keep breathing so hard and want to exploded
A voice cord wants to shout freely, strongly, loudly
A head thinking all thought, every good and bad
And eyes that want to release every drops of tears…

Asking for help…
Lost in wrong way
Ridiculous that I just know now, a very long time to wake up
But yeah, I need something to know

The feeling is
I want to disappear and restart
I want to have any time machine
Or jump over a bridge
Or the bad one I don’t wanna tell
This is hard, tough, didn’t want to do anything

(2014, March 30th)

Poem · Write

Dear Me…

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I want to say thanks for being me this all time. You being so strong to stand in this world and doing as you pleased. Although not always being the good friend, more to forget friends, bertraying them, but you the one who thinking them deeply when missing. You just don’t know how to express the feeling. But thanks for being me.

Thank you for keeping your own thought and keep in your mind. For always have a faith and doing your hardwork although it seems hard to complete and becoming true. Yup, you bored everyday doing the same activity but you keep your promise.

Thank you for having different idea from others although you become a little rock headed, but having your own thought makes you sure.

Dear me…

You have done a good job.

Thank you for being me.

 

Poem · Write

Until Then…

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Until my ‘real’ friends will stop to saying ‘hi’ to me.

I still can hear them tell their story to each other about their own life yet the things I didn’t have.

I can’t tell the same story but I’m okay, because you’re happy.

That’s enough for me.

That’s fine for me.

Don’t look pity, I really hate it.

 

Yeah, I’m still can’t cacth the quiz of my life yet.

Once again I ask God, which path I will be.

Because of this, maybe, God gives me more time to think.

God delays my decision.

I believe that.

You who meets your interest now have been made a choice surely, wisely.

 

Until my ‘real’ friends will stop to saying ‘hi’ to me.

I still answer their question to me.

I’m not ashamed.

 

Until my ‘real’ friends will stop to saying ‘hi’ to me.

I will make many probably dreams.

Walking in my way.

Like a K-poper will support the idol.

Like a writer who will write crazily and find the untold story.

Like a student who will find the mystery of life through books and science.

Dream about how I can going around the world and visiting my dream land.

Dream about studying everyday.

Dream about being an artist and always cheered by supporters on the stage.

Dream about being in a great team also brotherhood.

 

Yes, I am what I am.

This is just a problem about time.

God has the right time for me.

And I am happy, yeah…I am like this…

And I’m okay.