I don’t feel that the world is abandoning me, no, not a little
I’m following Your path You drew on
Changing my priority easily
Doing things I never done before, easily
If I want, I can blame everything, everyone in this world
But this is weird, with my characteristic, I didn’t do that…
I didn’t go down nor cry or angry
Being me is just so tough…
In this state I’m really missing everyone who I call FRIEND
I wish I could divide myself
I can’t think all problems in one head
But I’ll not believe the others me
There’s reason behind a sentence to you: “I miss you, friends”
I’m not a kind of person who’ll send you that sentence, but now I’m doing that.
Someone who walked slower than somebody else, quietly
Someone who feels dissapointed with the whole world
He gets rid of his real world for a while
Just want to take a rest for a while
He can blabbering, badmouthing, and make noise in the virtual world he love
But not from his own mouth
Who has many dreams which he never know how to start
Getting mad of many things didn’t suit
He also didn’t understand which one is right:
Does the world betray him, or does he the one who abandon the world?
I am here don’t know whether I’m fine or not, seeing you have many wounds everywhere
It’s funny that I am the ignorant person wanna be a hero for you
Breaking all the rules and becoming a different person just to heal you
But I myself have many wounds here, that’s so ridiculous…
How can I help you, then?
How are you the world?
I hope you heal your wound quickly
Take my hand because the one who understand better is someone who have the same moment, the same problem, isn’t it?
Just sing with me happily, yeah, although I just know Korean song without the meaning, haha…but yeah…
When someone asking you, when and what will you be…
Just answer it quickly,
“Who the hell know?”
Here I am with my long hair, without a bang, I planned to cut
With my usual clothes, my favorite one
Also my old sneakers, I planned to buy the new one before
Sadly I didn’t belong to wherever place I go
Not there or here
Just wait slowly…which part of me will die first
Is it my body or soul…
Honestly, i am too tired
It’s just too tired caring other people
Wearing a mask to facing them
Forcing a smile and always ask, “What can I do for you?”
Nobody knows that in my heart I wanna shout, I’m not okay
While I can see this picture lively everyday, yeah it’s like a drug that have an interaction time
It easy comes and goes…
I hide it everyday and become someone I never know
I see in the mirror and I can’t remember the last time I smile
I walk on my way then I feel so lonely
I want you to come to me and hug me
Say to me that everything gonna be okay
The better day will come to me
Thirteen people in my head
Come to me and smile
And then say congratulation,
Yeah, my dream.
Today, this morning, my tears just came out so freely without a reason
Then i wondering how come this happen
and i smiled, this life is so hard, isn’t it?
Maybe my whole body is numb…my head can’t control anything would happen
and the tear just flew freely, this morning.
To say that I’m sad it so boring.
To say that I’m happy it is so big lie.
To say that I’m okay it is so wrong.
Every way when I go further, I realize that I’m against the fog
And I realize too, that God is testing me
He asked me to learn the bad one first instead of the good one
So, in the future I won’t do the same thing.
Yeah, I let my tears flew freely, so I’ll free too, someday.
(14th April 2014)